


The Scurvy, As Was Prophesized

by sheafrotherdon



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-01
Updated: 2006-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-11 23:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's October 1, 1996, and Sirius has Ideas (tm)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Scurvy, As Was Prophesized

"I think," said Sirius, "we should become pirates."

Remus blinked rather stupidly in response, but Sirius was prepared to be patient. It was, after all, two minutes past six on a rather frosty October morning, and ever since the incident with the egg, the tortoise, and James' purple socks in fourth year, Remus had nursed quite an aversion to being woken abruptly.

" _Pirates_ ," Sirius repeated breathlessly.

Remus looked toward the ceiling for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, (or possibly pleading for help from Muggle gods and lurking ghosts in the attic of Number Twelve). "Pirates," he said.

"Yes! You can choose whether you want the eye patch or the peg leg." Sirius felt this was being extremely generous, since truthfully he wanted both.

"And uh . . ." Remus pushed himself up in bed, thumping a pillow against the headboard before leaning back against it. "Why exactly are we doing this?"

"Because," Sirius said, holding up his hand to tick off the points of his argument against his fingers, "it is October, and high time for an adventure. Two, I am bored. Three, I would look rakish in a captain's hat. Four, I want a ship to call _Rupertinzle_ , since there is not, at present, a Rupertinzle in the world, and that, I'm sure you'll agree is a crying shame. Five, if I'm going to be half-mad, I may as well _use_ it for something. Like terrorizing the high seas."

Remus rubbed one eye with the heel of his hand. "And where are we to find this ship, the HMS . . . "

"Rupertinzle."

"Rupertinzle. Quite."

"Transfiguration!" Sirius exclaimed, punching Remus enthusiastically in the arm. "Call yourself a wizard, you great . . ."

Remus arched an eyebrow.

"Yes, well – " Sirius cleared his throat. "I bet we could easily transfigure one. I mean, we're geniuses."

"Geniuses."

"Yes. Also – fond of limes, which will help us ward off scurvy. It's foretold, Remus. Our love of citrus fruit is prophetic! Clearly we were made for a life of salty hi-jinks and scallywaggery."

"Scallywaggery."

Sirius peered at him. "Are you quite well, mate? You keep repeating everything back at me. Hit your head?"

Remus winced. "Not recently, no."

"So! Piracy then. After breakfast?"

"It'd be positively uncivilized to try before."

"Exactly. Toast and jam, do you think? Or bacon and eggs and some of those marshmallow gubbins that Harry likes to float in milk."

"Tea." Remus scratched at the stubble on his jaw with an air of lazy resignation. "Definitely a great deal of tea."

"Naturally." Sirius bounded off the bed and paused in the doorway. "I'll need a shirt with poofy flounces."

"Undoubtedly."

"And possibly leather trews."

"One can only hope," Remus agreed, sliding down under the sheets.

Sirius paused, comfortable affection welling up inside his chest at the sight of dear old Moony, sleep-soft and tea-wanting, curled up in bed. "I couldn't sail the high seas without you," he said after a moment.

Remus smiled. "Perhaps you should make the tea and come back to bed," he suggested. "We could make a few more plans before we escape to China. Work out how to procure you a parrot."

And wasn't that the very best thing about a bloke like Moony – always thinking of the details. "A parrot," Sirius breathed. "Oh you are splendid."

Remus laughed softly. "Years of practice," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"Years," Sirius agreed wistfully, and watched his Moony go lax amid the blankets, slipping into dreams. "Tea," he whispered, and with the swagger of a mariner-in-training, went off to find the PG Tips.


End file.
